BECAUSE I AM NOT THE KIND OF GIRL ANYONE FALLS IN LOVE WITH.

 

Because I am not the kind of girl anyone falls in love with...…

I am the kind of girl who smiles like I am fine, when I am not, who can make you laugh when you want to cry, who loves everyone but is loved by only few. I am the kind of girl who may pass through your mind once in a blue moon, most probably when you only need me.

I am not the kind of girl with a perfect figure or a perfect height. I am the one who does not even know to cook and do household work. I am the kind of girl who prefers being lazy and lost in her own world ignoring the rest and the unwanted chaos.

There was this time when I was in 8th standard and my best friend left me for like no reason. I was left all alone and broken, feeling unloved and unwanted. It used to suck seeing other classmates enjoying with their friends and me sitting alone and staring at them thinking that why my best friend left me, was I supposed to be faulty for something. Soon I started getting kind of depressed. It felt happy to be alone sometimes. I was also bullied sometimes but I never cared about it cause I knew who I am and what am meant to be.

Yeah I was strong that time and I am still, but I'm tired, tired of my friends turning fake and talking behind my back, I often wonder if they ever cared, everyone has either been taken or walked out of my life. Everyone who said they cared isn't there. I'm tired of hearing lies about who cares and who doesn't, who's there and who isn't and and being left by the guy you thought loved you and turned out didn't hurts a ton more.

Sometimes I wonder when some say they miss me would they really mean it if I was gone. Sometimes I fake a laugh I can't lie it hurts a lot and I won't deny I miss them and others who I shouldn't even give a single thought to. I had been fighting from the inside and it took a pretty long time to realize that those people were not worth my love.

Before I was even a teenager, I realized that I was not the Princess as I had seen in movies. Maybe somewhere I could be the evil one, cause we are all bad in someone else's story. That’s why I’m no longer waiting dreamily for love to find me, cause I believe in the end love will find me and maybe in the most unexpected ways.

•They say it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all•

I may have a broken heart but not a broken dream and there is always a beautiful purpose behind a broken heart so now I am controlling my own ship of life and I am riding out the fierce storms on my own, and I am in love with every minute of my this self-led journey.

Thanks to the people that walked in my life and stayed to make it better and bigger thanks to those who walked out and made me stronger. So no, I am not the kind of girl you will love, because I am the kind of girl you will leave. But all of that leaving finally showed me that I need no one but I need only myself, my very own soul.

I can be free like the birds in the sky and be the architect of my own happiness.

BY,

DJ 💗