What if I were a Pillow ?

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A pillow is just a cloth bag stuffed with feathers or other soft materials, used to support the head when lying or sleeping. Yes, it is a non-living object, but have you ever thought if you could be a pillow with feelings for maybe just one day ! Times are hard, lifes goes upside down, feeling alive sucks but the hardest one stays at the top, that is, to cry yourself to sleep.

I cry myself to sleep. I cry for all the things I've lost, for the flashbacks that torment my thoughts. Crying isn’t something I do in front of people. I don’t like people seeing me cry. I don’t want them to think I’m weak or to know what triggers me. I do everything I can to just not to cry when I am around someone.

But when I’m at home, confined between the walls of the room, I cry. I cry every single night until it’s about 4am and I can’t sleep anymore. When I cry it’s like I can finally let out all the feelings and the hurt that I hold inside me. I can express that safely on my own where no one can judge me. No one can pretend that they care about me. No one can wipe my tears with one hand and stab me in the back with the other.  I break inside at night, I lay in bed with tears in my eyes rather than sleep.

I cry on my own desperately wishing there was someone here to hold me. To look after me and make me feel safe. To protect me from the nightmares that remind me of my past. 

If I were a Pillow I would be there with the one who needs me every night, letting them hug me all night. I would wipe off their tears filled with pain, be close to them and listen to all their talks without judging or complaining anything to them. I would turn their nightmares into beautiful dreams. I would hide all their sorrows and never step back when they need me. I would be there for them everyday and every moment, making sure that there would be no other day when the sun rises and they feel alone ever again and they wake up much stronger everyday ! 

Love,
DJ ❤

My Instagram id 👇
@dj_dhun_

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